Well..."Sharing is caring" is a core value instilled in an elementary student. Whether they do it or not. They know it, they've heard it, they can repeat it in their sleep.
Today was 'normal' at work. One 'normal' incident happened when 2 of my students got into a conflict over markers for an economic choice worksheet I had given them. It was a double sided worksheet where they colored and cut their side of choice and thus established their opportunity cost, what they had to give up, on the other.
One little girl approached me during the activity. She is a student who has struggled with her tact...to put it nicely. She's been working on it and, in reflection of that, she says to me "Miss Thindwa, sorry but Chris is being really mean just because I don't want him to use my markers and he asked me and I said no today, but I always share my markers with him, and then he asked Sally and she said no and then he got really mean about it and called me a Know-It-All. I said no because he didn't ask me that nicely."
Chris came to me and responded "I just asked her to borrow them because I don't have any and I wanted to finish my worksheet and she wasn't using all of hers so I asked her if she could share and she just said no, but she has always said yes before."
(yea sometimes they speak like there is a scarcity of commas and periods.)
Anyway...
I thought about it as these two politely frustrated kids stood in front of me. I hesitated to respond.
Truth is, sometimes we just don't feel like sharing our goods. Especially when we are sharing our goods and not feeling that we yield any returns. I understand that. I understand that there is an opportunity cost of pride when we choose to share what we can with someone we don't want to share with. I get that there is an opportunity cost of "caring" when we choose not to share what we can at all.
This little girl, even in her spite, is entitled to reject a plea for her belongings. She feels he is unappreciative and it is her chance to make sure he knows it. He is not caring. This little boy is entitled to feel insulted when someone denies to use the little physical effort necessary to give because they didn't like how he asked. He believes she thinks she knows it all. She is not sharing.
So what was I going to say to these kids?
I wanted to explain all of this, in a way that a third grader could understand. I wanted to tell them they were both half wrong. I wanted to tell them that the issue was really in the intent, not in the entitlement. That when the intention of denial is to reject and hurt, then you are wrong. When the intention of asking is to expect favor, then you are foolish. I also wanted to just send them away and tell them "figure it out".
Aaah the supply was low-ish and the demand was high!
In a muddled way, I ended up saying to them "If you feel like someone is taking more than they appreciate, you should communicate that to them humbly. And if someone says no to a want that you ask for, and you know you asked humbly, then you have to accept "no" and let it be their personal issue."
I should take my own advice. This doesn't even sound easy, but I faked like it is. So after they had returned and I got to thinking some more....
I realized I had truly failed... to hype up the high supply of No. 2 pencils and/or good ol' wax crayons. Let me just do that next time.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Little Advice 2010-2011
- "Miss Thindwa, don’t laugh so hard or you’ll break your funny bone. That’s why it’s there, so you don’t break it when you laugh.
- "Miss Thindwa, where did you get your hair from? It looks nice like crazy like that."
- "Miss Thindwa I’m going on a cruise next summer. It goes to the Chesapeake Bay, Texas and then Japan. It will take 3 months. You should go."
- "If you give high fives you might miss the hand and like accidentally like get the face."
- "You want ME to go get her? I think you should go cuz you’re the teacher."
- "If you were born on some months of the year, you are a talker. I was born September 3 so I’m a double talker. MY dad said I came out talking. So I’m sorry I’m just a talker."
- "You should be the desk fairy….."
- "Being foolish is like eating corn without a fork...grub grub grub grub"
- " You shouldn't do bad things like a PG13 person"
- "Miss Thindwa by you telling us how to do this fast, isn't that taking more time...so really its like wasting time"
- "I have a right to remain silent"
- "I just like to be interested, but sometimes this feels like Sunday"
- "The other meaning of degree is like I don't degree with you"
- As he rubs his belly joyfully post Winter Party and eating frosted cookies/candy canes - "Miss Thindwa, that was a whole lotta co-les-te-roll"
- "We should have a 7 hour delay"
- "The wind can make you do things. It may have picked up my knee and pushed it into his back. That's what probably happened. "
- "I have a boy cat. We had to take him to the doctor so he stops making the girl cats go crazy. He also needs to shave in his porta. His cat butt."
- "Miss Thindwa, if your mom comes to visit us again, do I call her Muzzzz Thindwa???"
- "ValentiMEs day is Jesus' birthday...again."
- "Miss Thindwa have you heard of Borders book store? Did you know they are closing down all of the stores in America? It's because only me, my dad and my brother shop there."
- "what do you mean was I pulling faces at him Miss Thindwa? You mean like, literally pulling faces? "...he says as he tugs on his cheeks. :::long sigh:::
- Kid A: Miss Thindwa my dad's coming tomorrow so you'll get to see him. He wears glasses, that's how you'll know it's him.
Kid B: What kind of glasses does he wear?
Kid A: Like glasses (as he traces his eyes with his fingers)
Kid B: Like does he wear the ones that shade the sun or the other kind? I forget what they're called. The one's that don't I guess?
23. "I'm sorry I walk so fast, I would slow down but it's my destiny."
24. "Miss Thindwa for some reason I don't feel well...like in my soul."
25."Miss Thindwa, if you find any more of those bookmarks after we leave, just call me on my cell and let me know"
26. "I can't go on the computer because I can't wear the headphones because they will mess up my Mohawk."
27. "Every time I get a cold chill, I need to use the bathroom. I left my jacket so....."
28. "I don't have my form today. This morning I woke up late so I had to rush in the shower and my hair was wet so it got really nappy and my mom tried to comb it out and then I went downstairs to get breakfast and I was rushing so I spilled my drink and the water from my hair also made a big blob...on my form. That's why I don't have it."
29."In Ancient Greece Olympics, people won a coral reef around their head, today they get metals."
30. "Miss Thindwa, on this summer camp form, on the price, shouldn't there be a decimal point after the one?"
Me: "Unfortunately my dear, the cost is not $1.99"
31. "Miss Thindwa, the beads in your earrings are the ones that have been showing up in my nightmares."
32. "Firm fingers and gentle hands make for a great massage...you want one?"
33. "Miss Thindwa now I know teachers have to do so much work, so when I grow up I think I'm gonna be a doctor instead."
TBcontinued, most definitely.
Confessions of a Necessary Lip Zip
1. A few mornings in the past months, maybe 3 or 4, I woke up for work at ridiculous O'clock and the first word out of my mouth was sugar-honey-ice-tea....without the sweetness. Then I remembered, my parents raised me civilized.
2. I had (still have) a balance at the library. Everyone knows when they have a balance at the local library! I don't know why some librarians, in their otherwise hush-insistent professionalism, all of a sudden lose this persona when announcing your fines. I asked a librarian to shush. Is that wrong or just ironic? She was loud!
3. I was reviewing short vowel vs. long vowel words with my third graders and the word 'put' came up. I told them the the u is short as in ugh- up because it is a CVC word. A kid asked about the past tense of it being short also (the same), I gave a non-example. I used "pooted" . They did not recover.
4. I received a nasty email from an high strung parent early in the morning, along with a call from my car credit company that fed me an appetite for a tasteless day. I was then regretfully rude to an old friend, in the same way the parent was rude to me. I felt like the person deserved it, then my mum told me "No, you are to never be mean to people". In her simplicity, she was profoundly wise.
With mum's scold, I felt like a child again. A child who knew better, but who just really had to get that last cookie in the jar. I had the cookie crumbs resting at the corner of my mouth, defiantly saving more for later. Anyway, after mum's reprimand and my little angel reminding me that my words should be weapons for good, I wiped the crumbs by calling to apologize. It felt right and good to confess and apologize, until the old friend told me they hadn't read the email yet. Lol. Then it just felt....just. My humble pie came with whipped embarrassment. Serves me right!
2. I had (still have) a balance at the library. Everyone knows when they have a balance at the local library! I don't know why some librarians, in their otherwise hush-insistent professionalism, all of a sudden lose this persona when announcing your fines. I asked a librarian to shush. Is that wrong or just ironic? She was loud!
3. I was reviewing short vowel vs. long vowel words with my third graders and the word 'put' came up. I told them the the u is short as in ugh- up because it is a CVC word. A kid asked about the past tense of it being short also (the same), I gave a non-example. I used "pooted" . They did not recover.
4. I received a nasty email from an high strung parent early in the morning, along with a call from my car credit company that fed me an appetite for a tasteless day. I was then regretfully rude to an old friend, in the same way the parent was rude to me. I felt like the person deserved it, then my mum told me "No, you are to never be mean to people". In her simplicity, she was profoundly wise.
With mum's scold, I felt like a child again. A child who knew better, but who just really had to get that last cookie in the jar. I had the cookie crumbs resting at the corner of my mouth, defiantly saving more for later. Anyway, after mum's reprimand and my little angel reminding me that my words should be weapons for good, I wiped the crumbs by calling to apologize. It felt right and good to confess and apologize, until the old friend told me they hadn't read the email yet. Lol. Then it just felt....just. My humble pie came with whipped embarrassment. Serves me right!
Being the First: Blog Intro
Being the first of my new blog, I thought I should express the root of my new venture to jar my thoughts in the way of the 21st century.
Why Blog?
I teach. Kids. I am a bit of a klutz. This gives me a lot to process, internalize and verbalize; and sometimes I talk to a loved one about my human interest stories that come from the journey of my profession as well as the quirks of me in my everyday. Sometimes I talk to myself about them. Sometimes in the shower. Yea I am convinced this is not weird. Trying to get my family on board with me on that....the crazy ship haha.
I'm really blogging to get my thoughts out so I can learn to process the events of my life positively and progressively. To laugh at myself, cry, laugh at why I'm crying, and to have a place to remind me why I should dare cast all my cares on Him.
Why Morning Dew?
I tend to get stressed out and/or into some strange situations and as I talk it over with friends, I am learning to air it all out, laugh at the funny, complain about the dummy...
They care with me and laugh with me. The amazing thing about these beloved is that they do it at the most sincerest of moments.
I had always prided myself in being private, but of late I have found acute remedy in the sharing of my life. It's like being caught in rain. The kind of rain that gives you an entree of wet with a side of wind slap. But then you realize the beauty of it the morning after; when you are sheltered, the plants have grown and the sun is out:)
Joy comes in the morning and to me, sometimes the "morning" is a chat with a good friend, a prayer, a hug, a song, a book, chocolate, mum's cooking, cupcakes, MMA (whhaaaatt!!?), the beach, chic flick, or simply a good old laugh. I'm toying with the last. I did play with the thought of naming this Mourning Due but concluded that it was awfully pessimistic of me. My second choice was Memoirs of an Immigrant Samurai. You'll find out why in my future blogs.
How Blog?
Like my dad, I am a fan of short, concise paragraphs. That's how.
Love,
Me~ WRT
Why Blog?
I teach. Kids. I am a bit of a klutz. This gives me a lot to process, internalize and verbalize; and sometimes I talk to a loved one about my human interest stories that come from the journey of my profession as well as the quirks of me in my everyday. Sometimes I talk to myself about them. Sometimes in the shower. Yea I am convinced this is not weird. Trying to get my family on board with me on that....the crazy ship haha.
I'm really blogging to get my thoughts out so I can learn to process the events of my life positively and progressively. To laugh at myself, cry, laugh at why I'm crying, and to have a place to remind me why I should dare cast all my cares on Him.
Why Morning Dew?
I tend to get stressed out and/or into some strange situations and as I talk it over with friends, I am learning to air it all out, laugh at the funny, complain about the dummy...
They care with me and laugh with me. The amazing thing about these beloved is that they do it at the most sincerest of moments.
I had always prided myself in being private, but of late I have found acute remedy in the sharing of my life. It's like being caught in rain. The kind of rain that gives you an entree of wet with a side of wind slap. But then you realize the beauty of it the morning after; when you are sheltered, the plants have grown and the sun is out:)
Joy comes in the morning and to me, sometimes the "morning" is a chat with a good friend, a prayer, a hug, a song, a book, chocolate, mum's cooking, cupcakes, MMA (whhaaaatt!!?), the beach, chic flick, or simply a good old laugh. I'm toying with the last. I did play with the thought of naming this Mourning Due but concluded that it was awfully pessimistic of me. My second choice was Memoirs of an Immigrant Samurai. You'll find out why in my future blogs.
How Blog?
Like my dad, I am a fan of short, concise paragraphs. That's how.
Love,
Me~ WRT
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